Former Zero
by izunadragoness
Summary: Nadichi Youokama, former soulreaper, has given up her post as espada to turn herself in to the captains of the soul society so that she may follow her love Toshiro. stories are mad to be read so read them.


**Disclaimer**: Dragoness: Yes my children, sadly this story doesn't have Gaara in it but do not fear: TOSHIRO IS HERE!

Toshiro: I am?

Dragoness: OMG! *attacks and shoves in closet to keep hidden from other fan girls and then mutters:* minemineminemine…all mine….

Izuna: Isn't this supposed to be a disclaimer?

Naruto: I read Harry Potter!

Izuna: Wow…

Dragoness: Oh ya... I knew that *everyone rolls their eyes at her* so I do own bleach and everyone in it…..ya.

Izuna: She's lying, for all those people who care.

Toshiro: *From closet* She is a lying liar who lies.

Dragoness: Quiet or no sex for you!

Toshiro: YAY! *Bees loud continuously for the next ten minutes*

Dragoness: Oops I meant the opposite *Attacks Toshiro*

**And the rest is censored.**

Story time!

I don't think anyone in the world could be border than I am right now. Wait is border even a word? I lay on my bed facing the drab plain ceiling. So boring. I wonder what everyone else is up to. All the captains would probably be deciding weather or not to let me live. If I could be trusted. Dundundun….I wonder what Toshiro is thinking right now? Maybe 'Nadichi is awesome and sexy!' or 'Must resist urge to rape Nadichi' I wish.

(Dragoness: Actually you do…and so do I. Kukuku...)

I looked at Yazakidi and Hyoni my two beloved swords of coolness. Hyoni's voice came into my head. _Maybe you should sing?_ That's a good idea! You know sometimes I think my katana Hyoni might be smarter than I am. I picked Hyoni up and she turned into a microphone. You see Hyoni was my mother's katana she wasn't a soul reaper, she didn't have the so called 'gift' (it's a load of crap I tall ya…) So my rich daddy made this sword maker dude make her a 'fake zanpakuto' It wasn't real so there was no shikai or bankai but my mother loved music so that's the magical powers of Hyoni. Just before she died mom gave hyoni to me and said this: Hyoni's a lot of fun should you be bored, but only useful in battle if your enemy's afraid of loud music. So whenever I'm bored or in the mood, I whip out Hyoni and liven up the mood with some music. It's also fun to do this in the middle of and awkward silence or when Aizen is plotting world domination or what to do with his hair (long story to do with gel products).

This is how she works: Hyoni chooses the song and I sing it, all the lyrics and notes appear in my head, and you need absolutely no skill to use her because she makes you play the guitar or the accordion very well without any training.

(Dragoness: The xylophone is my favourite! Toshiro: I bet it is… Dragoness: AHHH Toshi-chan you escaped! *attacks Toshiro for a second time*) the tune and the song's background music is automatically heard in the listeners head without someone actually playing the music. That why she is MAGICAL!

Bam! Jazz hands! Nothing is anything without jazz hands. I grabbed the microphone/hyoni and began to sing Circus by Britney Spears? Who is that? Who knows Hyoni picked it. The music flowed through the room and probably into other people's rooms too. Heeheehee. Someone's spiritual pressure approached and stopped when it came to my door. A random soul reaper dude's head peaked through the window on my door. I started dancing. Walking around the room in slop motion is really fun, while singing into a black rhinestone studded microphone (Hyoni). I flicked my hair back. More soul reapers had come to lean against my door to listen.

The song ended and I did my Elvis impression with the: Thank you, thank you very much. Then I bowed to the door. Someone clapped. I stuck my tongue out at them. Gosh people don't you know good music when you hear it? You need to get out more. I spun around and climbed onto a chair. The next song started. Ohh I like this one it's called 'We will rock you" by Queen, nice beat. With my left hand I pointed to things around the room as the line 'we will we will rock you' came up. You could just feel the floor shaking with the music! I climbed onto the wooden desk across from my bed and started to stomp along with the bead. I haven't had this much fun in years...except when we caught Ulquiorra naked on film…and switched it with the movie for movie night. Ohh good times. Aizen get a life!

*Crash!* My door came tumbling down. Fifteen soul reapers lay flat on the ground looking up at me. I stopped and stared at them. Should I yell something really loud and random right now?

"Um… please keep going?" One soul reaper near the top of the pile said. Then I noticed it…Toshiro was coming. I could never mistake his spiritual pressure. Maybe it was time for a love song? I clenched Hyoni between my hands to pick a good one. I even wished upon a not so there star…well it was the middle of the day what do you expect? Then it was in my head. Every time we touch by Cascada. I smiled evilly. I love smiling evilly. I began; the words explained my love for Toshiro, my not so secret secret love for him. I looked at my door, some of the soul reapers were crying. I'm so awesome. I finished the first verse and jumped onto my bed. Ahh I'm so happy that it is so bouncy, I flew like a bird. He was almost here; I put my hands to my heart and sang like an angel. Pop! There, a little invisible halo appeared above my *Cough cough* innocent head, hahaha who am I kidding? NOT! I kept singing, knowing he could hear me as he rounded the last corner. I focused in on what the soulreapers at my door where whispering about. One was thinking about my tattoo, the zero on my left ankle marking me as an ESPADA, ohh hide the women and children…*the room goes dramatically dark and ghosts appear* all in my head of course. Oh…so evil…evil me. The song ended, I turned to see Toshiro (Ohh my baby shrimpy lover boy!) standing in my doorway behind the pile of sweating men with his arms crossed. I finished with a flourish of Hyoni and flung her onto my bed where she sadly became a katana once more. The end by Nadichi Youokama.

Toshiro eyed me, and then he directed his attention to the guys pilled artistically atop my broken door. I smiled, he could act cold all he wanted but I new the true him, the cute little boy who sleeps with a teddy (not a yellow one, a purple one) and keeps a picture of grandma beside his bed. No I'm not a stalker, just a curious person. Toshiro glared at me, I shot my best 'grin stupidly and wave madly at' right back at him. Oh the adorable little chilled shrimp…never mind I shouldn't insult his height, I'm the same size.

"Aww, you just wanted to hear me sing didn't you?" I batted my eyelashes at him; he quickly turned away back to the men.

"Get out before I blow it," Toshiro said to them. I cracked up. Toshi my love, you should really watch what you say. I couldn't resist:

"Blow what Taicho?" His face turned beet red, oh that goes nicely with his hair. He then promptly turned and left the room. I was still laughing on the floor. His voice reached me from the hallway.

"You are needed in the meeting room. Go now," Ohh could it be the finally used my idea of a disco party? Leaving Hyoni on the bed I strapped Yazakidi to my waist and followed after him. If I took Hyoni, she might tempt me to liven up my trial, and seeming my life is on the line, I shouldn't do anything rash. That's going to be hard.

I walked along the corridors toward the 1st squad's campus, but stopped just outside the door. Should I have dressed up for this? I looked down at my outfit, my white Espada mini skirt still had the jam stain from last weeks food fight between all the Espada… that was fun, even Nnoitra decided to join in. My top consisted of a white belly length tight tank with six thin straps on each shoulder. There was a hole in the middle of the shirt that was rimmed with black. When it was given to me, I was told that Aizen himself had designed it. That was the topic of many, interesting conversations. My white hair was braided and was clean and neat. So I guess I looked fine. Now, to get prepared for my big entry. I flung open the double doors leading to the meeting room, and strutted in. Then, at the top of my lungs and with an exotic flourish of my arms, I yelled:

"POTATO SALAD!" All the captains turned to look at me, the crazy girl with the massive grin on her face and her hands on her hips, looking like the queen of Japan. Does Japan even have a queen? Whatever. Someone sighed. Oh time to be serious. I sat down in front of Yamamoto and my trial began.


End file.
